Certain things about California, I won’t miss so much…

How surprising that the topic of this post would involve: 1) Our dog, and 2) Why some of the interactions I have with people in my neighborhood irritate me to no end. It's so rare that either of these things should come up, let alone both at once, I know.

Background: despite the absurd location (3 blocks from the ocean), our neighborhood is populated mostly by working class people, frat-boys, homeless people, and tennis-garb-toting vacationer types. It's an interesting mix, and, even though the last homeless guy that I "helped out" literally left his crap (as in, yes, his actual excrement) on our sidewalk, the homeless people are not the biggest problem around here. It's the self-righteous vacationer types, many of whom are actually on permanent vacations. Decked out in their "vacation gear", they peer into your yard, and then tell you any number of things while you're trying to pull weeds or play with your dog, or deal with the trash, or whatever. Back to that in a second.

Background, take II: Nina the dog is possibly the most spoiled animal on the planet; part of it is that she's turned "cuteness" into her own personal performance art piece. The other part of it is that she's really just a great dog, and so you don't mind, for example, squeezing into a chair with her, even though she's not really small enough for that. She regularly gets marathon frisbee sessions. Walks on the beach. She has free reign of the house (including all furniture) and the yard. You get the picture. We have a potentially unhealthy amount of love for this animal. And, she is happier than you, me and most of the people that we know, combined.

So, the vacationers... sometimes they'll stop and chat about how nice the flowers smell, how great the weather is, or any number of other pleasantries regarding the town we live in. This is a pleasant freaking place, after all. But, usually? Usually, they stop to question me, or to comment upon how mistreated my dog seems.

The thing is, (as many of you know) Nina whines when she gets excited. And, she gets excited a lot. Like, when people walk by, for example. She also knows that if said people are walking by, and she whines at them, they will invariably stop to pet her and coo at her incessantly. Only, they think that the whining is some expression of sadness, or a plea for help. "Oh, you poor baby, locked in this yard. Somebody needs to take you for a walk." Puhleeeze.

"Don't you ever walk her?", they'll then ask me. "She looks really thin. Do you feed her enough?", or "She looks kind of fat. Do you exercise her enough? She’s an active breed, you know." Really? I hadn’t noticed! There was this one couple that came by 3 times in as many days, just to "check up" on her. "You know, we walked by yesterday and the day before, and she seemed really upset. Have you been doing something to her?" Um, excuse me? Oh, but they're just concerned citizens, you see. No need to be so rude to them! Right.

Just the other day, in fact, an older woman waited at the front (now always locked) gate for me to come out, so that she could make sure I was paying enough attention to Nina. Through gritted teeth, I assured her that yes, she is a very healthy, very happy dog, and that if she had any more of my attention, it would probably necessitate my getting less sleep.

This kind of thing happens all of the time.

Also, I'm just not sure why these people insist on taking up our dog as their cause, when there are drunk morons tearing around the neighborhood in their 'stangs, who have nearly run over half of the other dogs in the neighborhood (who just roam around, because, you know, their owners think that leashes are "unkind"). Or, perhaps they could turn their ire (more appropriately) on the dudes who break car windows and yell things like "f^#*ing fa&&ot" incessantly. Another, perhaps more outrageous option, of course, would be that they just mind their own damn business!

No, no. Those things, I will not miss.

Poor little neglected Nina, however, I will.